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# The Joy I Could Not Find
- URL: https://amemamem.com.br/en/the-joy-i-could-not-find/
- Published: 2026-04-11T13:24:38.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-09T01:05:03.000Z
- Description: For a long time, I could not understand what the Bible calls joy.
- Author: Airton Humber
- Tags: #en, #de-alegria-que-nao-conseguia-encontrar

## because it was not the true joy

For a long time, I could not understand what the Bible calls joy.

I would read:

*“Rejoice always.”*  
*“The joy of the Lord is our strength.”*  
*“The fruit of the Spirit is… joy.”*

And, honestly, it did not fit.

Because, when I looked at my reality, I did not see it the way I had learned to understand joy.

## The problem was not the text

Today I realize that the problem was not in the Bible.

It was in the definition I carried.

I learned, like all of us, that joy is:

- feeling good
- feeling light
- having positive external reasons

But that is the joy of the world.

And, without realizing it, I was reading the Bible through that lens.

## And then came the confusion

Because life does not work that way all the time.

There are hard days.  
There is pressure.  
There is pain.

And, in those moments, that “joy” simply does not show up.

So the text seemed distant… almost unreal.

## Until something began to change

I began to notice something very simple:

*“My* peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.”  
([John 14:27](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/nvi/jo/14/27+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

If the peace is not the same…

why would the joy be?

## A different joy

Little by little, I came to understand:

the joy that the Bible reveals  
is not emotion.

It is not euphoria.  
It is not the absence of pain.

## The joy that sustains even to the cross

The Bible reaches a point where this difference becomes impossible to ignore:

*“…who, for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame…”*  
([Hebrews 12:2](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/ara/hb/12/2+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

If joy were emotion… this would make no sense.

Because the cross has nothing light about it.  
Nothing pleasant.  
Nothing “happy.”

And yet, the text states:

**there was joy.**

## Ignominy: what does it mean?

When the text speaks of ignominy, it is not speaking only of shame.

Ignominy is deeper.

It is the public exposure of human dignity to the extreme.

In that context, crucifixion was:

- public humiliation
- dishonor before everyone
- total exposure
- complete loss of dignity in the eyes of men

Shame is the inner reaction.

Ignominy is what comes from outside.

**Ignominy is imposed.** 
**Shame is produced within.**

And the text reveals something striking:

Jesus was exposed to the greatest ignominy…  
but it did not define what was inside Him.

## So what joy is this?

It cannot be something that depends on circumstances.

It is something deeper.

**An inner reality so strong** 
**that it sustains a man even in the most extreme moment.** 

Joy did not avoid the cross.

But it gave strength to go through it.

## A joy that remains, even in persecution

This same reality appears in the lives of the apostles.

After being persecuted and flogged, the text says:

*“The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.”* 
([Acts 5:41](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/nvi/atos/5/41+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

This does not make sense within natural logic.

There is no human reason for joy there.

And yet, they were rejoicing.

Not because the situation was good…  
but because there was something inside that did not depend on the situation.

Because Jesus had said:

“Your sorrow will turn into a complete joy, and no one can take it from you.”  
([John 16:22-24](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/nvi/jo/16/22-24+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

The same happens with Stephen.

While he was being stoned, he does not react with despair.  
There is no rebellion.  
There is no loss of balance.

On the contrary, he looks up and says:

*“I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”* 
([Acts 7:56](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/nvi/atos/7/56+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

The ignominy was there.  
The violence was real.

But a greater reality was being seen.

**And that sustained everything.**

## And then something made sense

For a time in my life, because of my health condition, people would ask me:

— How are you?

And I would answer:

— I am at peace…

I never said I was “well.”

Today, I answer:

— I am at peace… and I am well…

## Now I understand

This “well” did not come from outside.

It was not because everything got resolved.

It was because something inside became clearer.

## The joy of salvation

The Bible says:

*“Restore to me the joy of your salvation.”* 
([Psalm 51:12](https://www.bibliaonline.com.br/nvi/sl/51/12+?ref=amemamem.com.br))

This joy is not a passing feeling.

It is the living perception that:

**there is life in me, in spite of everything.**

## What changed in me

I did not start feeling something new.

I started seeing something that was already there.

Joy stopped being an expectation  
and became a recognized reality.

## A quiet relief

And this brought relief.

Because it took away the weight of having to “feel joy.”

Now, I do not need to produce anything.

I just must not confuse it.

## A simple closing

The joy I was looking for…  
was not the real joy.

And maybe that is why so many people cannot find it either.