Throwing in the Towel

Giving up trusting in my own understanding, without giving up on people.

For some time now I have been noticing something that has deeply changed the way I understand life.

I do not have the strength to overcome many of my own inclinations. And, more and more, I recognize my dependence on the Holy Spirit.

But now I am noticing something else.

Even my sincere desire to help people can lead me to trust in my own understanding.

I want to help, guide, advise. Many times I believe I understand what is happening and I can even see a path that seems good to me.

But do I really understand?

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.”

And also:

“All the ways of man seem pure to him, but the LORD weighs the spirit.”

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can know it?”

We can be sincerely convinced that we are doing good and still not see what is in our own heart.

It is possible to know the Scriptures, to understand many things and not know what to say, when to say it or even whether we should say anything at all.

Jesus declared:

“The Son can do nothing by himself; he can only do what he sees the Father doing.”

And also:

“Without me you can do nothing.”

I am throwing in the towel.

I am not giving up on people. Nor am I ceasing to wish them well.

I am recognizing that I do not have the ability to produce in them what only God can accomplish.

“I planted, Apollos watered, but God made it grow.”

Perhaps it is better to simply be available. To listen more. To speak less. And to wait, with trust, for the Spirit's direction.

Without the obligation to have an answer. Without the pretension of understanding everything. Without carrying the responsibility of transforming anyone.

Because even the willing and the doing come from God.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.